Letters to Anna #16

IMG_1189  Time!

Hey Anna,

it’s been a long time!

Oh God, I had some challenging days!

You know that I live my life day by day and try to make the best of every second that I have. I make the “mistake” to dream of future, to think of a purpose and make a plan to reach it!

That’s when the “Beast” tap my shoulder and said “HI, I’M HERE, what about me?!” For the first time in my life I got scared, I let my fears concur me!

What if I can’t make it? What if I don’t have time to do it? What If, what if and what if…???…so…I close my eyes and pretend that the Best is not there, trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away. Worst idea ever, because I still feel his breathe on my neck!

The irony is, I made things way too complicated, and concentrate on things that I can’t control instead of the one that I can! I felt sorry for today instead of dreaming for tomorrow!

I let my “Beast” take control of everything, I let “what if I cant’t” to start my sentences and my actions. Basically I lost myself!

Till one day… I was walking in the city and catched my reflection in the mirror windows. I stopped and looked at that girl! I’ve seen a stranger… that smile, those eyes…not mine, not ME!

The funny thing is that I did’t realize me being gone, again. I was too focused on ignoring the “Beast” presence!

so….

I thought to ask for help, and you know I hate asking for help, but who can help me “kill” the “Beast”? My family, my friends? No! My dr.’s? Not yet!

But is my fault in some extent, I never talked fully about it, how “ugly” is and what are my options. No one knows what’s going on exactly, I always say “I’m fine”! I believed that if i ignore it, wi’ll disappear. I know, is silly! It’s ironically too, ’cause I’m the best on giving proper advices and helping others, but I can’t help myself or follow my own “preachings”.

IMG_6326    so…

I took a deep breath, open my eyes, and face the “Beast”! The decision was clear and silly easy. I have to become friends with “Beast”! I will do everything in my power to achieve it, is the only way I can rediscover myself and move forward!

I need to have faith in myself again!

First, I believe that I’m here for a reason. I have to believe that!

I have a purpose, it’s a simple and a big one, suits me perfectly! Tho, I have to have faith that I’ll make the right choices for me in order to reach it.

I’m lucky to love doing my work and have passion for it!

But to find something like that, I had to get out from my comfort zone (I don’t like comfort zone) and work in a place where I meet enterprising and exiting people! People that I can trust and consider part of my family! That’s how you find that one thing you’re uniquely shaped to do, and get exposed to new opportunities. It took me a while, but I found it, I found “work” that I love doing!

I face my fears every day, and I always look forward to the next big challenge!

I was thinking a lot about my purpose in live, and I think I finally got it. It was never about doing a lot of little things but about being the best at one thing. It’s about having a big dream, and expecting big things of yourself and others, in order to make it real. That’s how you build yourself, your legacy…in the real world.

so…I promise myself to focus on being the best version of ME, and totally love that version!

Hopefully someday, many years from now, we’ll be sitting in the office, and it will occur to us that we’ve done quite well, and we’ve been successful on reaching our dreams.

Like someone said : “If you want big things out of life, must expect big things of yourself.” 

I intend to do that!!!

After all, that’s what I live for, dreams, passion, challenges and building memories!

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Letters to Anna #15

Let it snow!
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Is snowing again! Love it, I feel like we gonna have Christmas again!
For some reason I remember the last time “snow” was in the city!
I walked around the office that day and I felt like a child! Didn’t care bout the cold, I was in jacket, heels and no gloves. To feel the snowflakes on my face was priceless…I breathe the cold air like it was my last…still do that, I love cold air in my lungs!

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For me nature is a form of perfection, I love to see her “at work”.
I was talking with Ramon about perfection in all aspects. He is “preoccupied” with the performance at work, being perfect, the best in everything!
So consuming thought, you can make the best of everything and be the best version of yourself, but perfection is hard to reach!
For me every new day it’s a learning day. I always have something more to learn, things, life, myself!
I’m not perfect, far from it, but I’ll never stop trying to become the best version of myself!

I’ve always try to make the best of my time on this planet!
Because If it’s not fun, it’s not worth doing and that’s applying to all aspects of my life.

Ha, that’s hell of a ride! That’s what makes my life “perfect”, makes me feel excited to live another day.

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Oooo, and Anna…I forgot to tell you that I love you today!

#happyfeet 👣👣👣

from Anna: love you too, girl.

Letters to Anna #12

imageLife-simply gorgeous!

What happened with this world? People forget to live, they say they’re living but they’re not!
I’m looking at the people on the sub and I see no happy faces! Everyone forgot how to smile? Everyone forgot to be happy?

I have to write this to you….so…

Today, my dear, it’s about you! My friends, my NY family, my laughs, my reason to be here, my love, my happiness and joy!
It’s so natural to be happy everyday with you guys! I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I thank God for the mysterious ways that brought me to you!

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Life is so fragile and precious, people forget that we have to make the best of it not waste it!
It’s so easy to smile, try it right now, your muscles will be happy!

What it takes to make us happy every second of the day? What are we chasing? Why do we sacrifice our life? Why do we sacrifice our true happiness?
Some ppl live only seeking success! But
success is something you attract if you work on yourself, it’s not something that you will reach by pursuing it. If you’re not a better person, if you don’t give love, for you and for those close to you…then WTF are you doing with your life?

Don’t get me wrong, life is not easy, but you have two choices: you can choose to turn hardship into learning experience and find happiness, or you can dwell in the “why this happens to me, it’s not fair!!” and find unhappiness!

Today I was looking at you girls and I could not describe the “enormous” love I felt in those moments! My smile had no chance to leave my face!

I’m so f…ing lucky to have you! I even did my happy feet dance!
Thank you God!

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You know, ppl underestimate the power of love, they don’t understand that love is the key to happiness. You can have all the richness in the world, but If you don’t have love, you have nothing!

Some people say that money will by them love and happiness. In a way that could be true, but they will always know that they paid “good money” for it!

That reminds me of this article that you sent me about Harvard’s 75 year study about “living a happy life”….they began in 1938 and in 2012 they published the “astonishing” findings. There is no secret ingredient, the study revealed what everyone of us should realize ” Happiness is LOVE”!

Happiness is not money, surprise, surprise!

The study revealed that “our relationships with other people matter more then anything else in the world”. “Healthy relationships serve as an indicator for overall life satisfaction and for career satisfaction.”
Haaaa….I’m so there with that conclusion, I’ve always been.
Also, the study says ” in terms of achievement, the only thing that matters is that you be content at your work”…you know “love what you do, do what you love” kind of thing…and “not the amount of money you make is important to your happiness, but how you spend it!”

So….

In conclusion …it’s not too late to start “wasting” your time chasing for love, in order to have a happy life!

You know me….I always say: you have to look for stories, you have to live for memories.

When we have 80 years, hopefully, we are gonna remember what we loved not how much money we spent! Or we will think about money, we will think on how much money we spent on the loved ones! :))))))

It’s not the bad things that shape our life, it’s the love you give and the love you receive, so…the good memories shape our life.

imageimageLife=love=happiness!

#happyfeet