Dana Nedelciu – Love Live Laugh

Letters to Anna #20 #reborn

The eclipse of I!

Chapter II

Hi my dear one…I promised to tell you about the crazy time I had in Miami.

So…after Chapter 1 ended I needed to heal and I run away to Miami…I wanted to change the memories previously made “about” that city and felt the need to have a “home” friend around.

Vla was my rock once again and said “Don’t worry come here girlie and we will heal you out! Plenty of 🌞 for your happy feet!”

The second I landed I felt that the sun welcomed me. I was so happy to be there and breathe a little better.

Little did I knew that Chapter 1 would come back to haunt me again and get me to relive the crossroads decision over and over again. But by this time I was at peace with it. I knew that he’s doing the best he could and couldn’t blame him for it. He was clueless of what he was creating for me and at this point I had no more expectations from that story anymore.

Sasha was a breeze in the summertime heat! I felt like coming home after a stormy trip with stories to share. He knew what I needed and put me to work, everyday was a new thing that I had to complete…I was competing with myself…flying board was the hardest and most fun…next time I’ll be better.

I knew that I’d be ok when I realized that I was sleeping without waking up through the night anymore!

Miami gave me a new/old friend too…Saad was super happy to see me again and gave me the chance to have a new amazing story about/with his beautiful place and people.

The only concern that I had was my health situation…what or which state I’m in after all the changes I put my body and my soul through the last 2 and something years. Now more than ever I wished to be healthy so much so that I started to laugh with God again.

Love his sense of humor…

First giggle was the night before my last day, a storm came and made me change flights back to NYC…all good till this point right?…

but…God got super funny…:)))

Next day before my flight I decided to walk on Wynwood Art District of Miami to see the galleries and the amazing open-air street art…it was supposed to be the best ending of my trip…but…

God!…:)))))))))

Imagine this one…

12:30 in the afternoon, 3 hours before my flight, middle of Wynwood walking around and taking pictures…tons of ppl around…hot like hell…:)

My phone rings for text messages it was my new friend Sue she told me to let her know when I’m in Miami next. Unfortunately, she was not in the area and we catching up with the latest in our lives but at one point she’s asking me a more personal question, I tell her that I’m not hiding anything. I’m just sick and choose not to be a talker about it. Sue text me more but before I had the chance to reply my ears catch the sound of running footsteps. I look to see where the runner came from…My eyes met the runner’s eyes and understand that he has no interest to pass me by but all the intent to “run” me by. The only thing that he could possibly wish from me was the phone…instinctively I “grabbed” it tighter but the second “push” makes me loose it…In my craziness I run after the “gentleman” but he jumped in a car and…well

How in God’s name would I get myself in the airplane? What was in my head to keep the card and ID inside the phone case? How smart of me?!

My only concern was how to get through security at the airport? I had cash in my bag but no form of ID….bummer right?!..

God is laughing…

A police car appeared in my way…I wave and they stop…

Police officer: “What happened?”

l:”I got mugged and I need something to get me through airport security!”

After the “normal” when? where? how? the conclusion was…

PO:”Not much we can do at this point but we gonna make a report and look for the guy!”

Oooo…I forgot to mention that at this point every person who was on the street before that moment had evaporated…like in a bad movie… I was the only one on that street…I wonder where everyone disappeared to?!

One of the policemen had an IPad so I asked permission to login to my account to see where’s my phone. You know this century is stupid to steal an iPhone…it can be located…lol

I noticed that my hands were shaking and could not remember my password. Luckily Emil my roommate has access on my phone to see where I am in case something happens to me…and I do remember my Facebook password.

He’s not impressed: “only you girl”! Btw I totally love my roommate! Emil sent me the location of the phone and the policemen took action, by this time 4 more police cars came at the scene and one with detectives. After 30 min of location tracking, they arrested the “running” man and the driver.

Who steals an iPhone this days???…what a waste!

I noticed that my blouse had ragged so I changed right there on the street. I had to look “normal” at the airport. 😂😂😂

Police drove me to identify my “runner”…will not forget that face ever…I can paint his portrait!

but…there is always a but…I can’t get my phone and the card back because is police evidence and needs to be processed, no trace of my ID.

I feel like I wasted time for nothing still didn’t fix my ID situation and now I’m running out of time …need to get to the airport, fast!

God is still laughing…

The policemen decided to give me a ride to the airport and make sure I caught my flight. I got to drive with the lights on and all the fuss…it was the best thing ever!

I smile back at God!

At the airport, I realized that I had my Romanian driver license and my NYC press pass in my bag…that “testify” for my identification and made check in fast, smooth and somewhat fun.

Did I tell you that God was laughing?!

At this point, I was laughing too…Through the carousel of feelings, on my last day in Miami, I got to be a “detective” and catch my bad guy. I feel sorry for him now, he was on parole for attempted murder.

Who knows…everything happens for a reason, and it was best that this happened to me and not someone else…maybe!?

Well I got to NY through stormy weather that I didn’t quite give a sh..t about and found myself standing outside of La Guardia with no easy way to get home. In my excitement, I forgot to tell Emil about changing flights for him to pick me up…so…no card=no Uber…Smaaaart girl!

I literally looked up and started to laugh thinking of God’s joke…he is good! He is laughing harder tho…cause…

A young man stops, I knew his face he helped me find a spot for my bag inside the plane, he can’t reach his Uber cause is showing him to go to a pickup place and asks me for help. I explain the way and he is asking me if I am going in the same direction?

Smart me: “I wish! I got mugged in Miami so I’m looking to steal a cab if someone gets dropped!”

Young men: “Where do you live, I’m going to Chelsea. I can putt you on my Uber, drop you first, you pay me cash and tell me all about being mugged in my city!”

Smart me, thinking of God’s jokes:”Deal!”

So…that’s how I got home…having fun and making a new friend!

Thank you again, Matt!

That’s the end of this chapter, which leads to the best one yet…ending up in New Orleans and meeting my Angel!

all of that tomorrow!

ps: Emil:”What the f.. girl, only YOU! How did you get home from the airport?”

Smart me:”God send me a car. Don’t worry I paid for it cash!”

well…only me girl, only me!

#happyfeet #👣👣👣

Letters to Anna #19 #reborn

The Eclipse of I!

Chapter I

Hi my dear one…I haven’t send you any letters for more than a year. So sorry for that! I wrote to you many times but didn’t had the courage to press send…I still have a tough time talking about myself.

Why today? Because the Eclipse happend and I feel insync with my inner self…guess the energy of it reached me…
Today I’m brave enough to set myself free of fears. The month that you’ve been traveling the world following your journey I got to travel too. I got myself on a crazy journey, the journey of “I”!

The most exciting journey ever because I walked on a path that show me how blessed I really am and I’m amazed.

This crazy journey started when my road with TD stoped at this crossroad and I decided to go on a different path than his. Though it’s easy to talk about it now I was lost, confused, hurting and questioned myself “Did I made a mistake or not?!”…I was looking back wondering if I should run after him…a lot of ???…but I haven’t run back though my road was full with sharp rocks I choose to walk on it towards the breath taking highway was feeling ahead…it made no sense to walk back and hurt my feet again just to reach something that I knew didn’t belong on my journey anymore…Don’t get me wrong It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make…I never imagine that I can love someone so much in the extent of sending them free when your happiness is not their happiness anymore. Well as always my instinct guided me to make the best decision and be in peace with it. I only hope that he is in peace with it too and will find his happiness.

Girl, I was expecting a crushed heart and slow recovery but I “received” a relieved one because she knows that what she “lost” was not what she need it anymore…ufff…I’m starting to talk about love I will talk for days…let me stop by saying that I don’t know what is in store for this ❤️ but I know that she is open to FEEL, she BREATHES…if that makes any sense for you!

Well…that’s all on this chapter…the next one is a crazy one about Miami…but I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow!

#mylifeisacarousel

Love always!

#happyfeet #👣👣👣

Letters to Anna #18

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I’m on crack! I’m a scam! I’m in love!

I found my “Vancouver”! I was not looking for it, but somehow he found me! He jump in my train and said “Hi, my name is LOVE, your LOVE!”

It’s hard and easy to write about my “Vancouver”, about how he light me up! I’m f..ing glowing!

Remember we talked latley about love and finding the one? The one who makes you be you, no restrictions? How we gonna find that complete feeling, if we ever??? I was giving “him” up, I was thinking about it, dreaming about it, but…I was in peace! I understood that is not to be found, and “my Vancouver” is just a page in a book that I will not have the chance to write.

Well…I was wrong! So wrong, Anna, so wrong! It’s the first time in my life when I have no problem of being wrong. :))))))

I was not looking for it…Ohhh, girl!…It hit me hard and strong! !…It appeared from nowhere and sweep me of my feet! Haaaaa, you will think that I lost my balance, en contraire, ma chérie, I found my balance!

I discover how it feels to float, to fly, to levitate…I’m a magician!

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The second he introduced himself to me I was lost! You know that I have the habit to look people in their eyes, I had the same boldness with him too, I was staring! This time tho, the eyes are staring back, and I’m the first to look away! I got lost in the moment, this eyes captivated and intrigued me at the same time. I wanted to freeze time and look closer! What’s their story, what makes them spark, how they smiling? How do I feel like I know them from somewhere, so familiar, so intimate, so mine? God, he has some eyes!

It’s funny, I remember my Grandma telling me this, one time :”When you fall in love you should fall for the eyes, they are the only thing that never grow old. Everything else will change, you will change too, but the eyes will be the same. If you fall for the eyes and he can keep you close just looking at you, the quest is over, you found “the one”! I remembered that the second I meet his haze!

“Fall for the eyes, my child!”

Faith has this ways of trowing something in front of you that you never expected!

But wait…..

I got scared, I didn’t want this! What if is not real, what if is just my need of love projected on this beautiful man?

Nop! Wrong agin! :)))) I was not that “lucky”! :)))))))

The feeling is so real, I never dream of love being that complete, strong and free! I feel naked in front of him. And I’m not talking about clothes, tho I feel the need to put some extra ones every time he’s looking towords me, my soul is naked.

He sees ME!

And you know that I love taking risks…tho…it feels more like a gift than a risk.

I dived in this feelings like I dive in the ocean, with all of me, not caring if the water is cold or what the depth is hiding. I just let the water embrace me and corres my skin, my soul! I enjoy the tranquility!

This love is crazy…the way I feel about him is crazy…

I love the way he speaks, and how he’s using the words! I can listen to him for hours, actually I did listen for hours, mesmerized. I love the way he acts, he is so simple, so complex, and so genuine. I love him the way he is, so comfortable with himself, all of him. I don’t want or need him to change anything. His imperfections are perfect for me, thats why hi’s special! That is the true essence of beauty, to me.

I’m grateful for him jumping in my train, have no words to thank him for that.

His love makes me be open, true, no games, no need to impress, no need to be someone I’m not. And because I’m like that he is the same way. He doesn’t mind if I talk to much or if I say nothing, he enjoys my presence. You know how hard is to find someone who likes YOU, to think that your flaws are incredible? I use to think it was impossible, wrong thinking!

It’s so uniq to fell asleep in his arms and wen you wake up HE is still there, unchanged, the same person that you went to bed with. He still smiles at you and don’t want to let go if you try to leave. “Lay down a little bit more”!

You lay a little bit more, and you realize that you don’t need to speak, the words are not needed! That embrace is all you live for, you want to stop time and just feel that moment!

My “struggle” with time and quest for so many memories stopped with him! I don’t need different memories anymore, I need memories of him being happy!

20160602_053052 It’s all that I want, and need….HIM to be happy!

Can’t believe my luck, I get to talk about THE love. I’m so soft, but completely happy!

You know what else? ….He makes me think about future, getting better is not just “if” anymore, getting better is a necessity! I want to have a future, tho in a wired way is not a future for/with him I think about, is a future in wich I can make him proud of my adventures. HE makes me want to “kill” my Beast!

I don’t want to tell you more about him, I need to keep something for myself! All I want you to know is that I completely love him, unconditionally and free.

I have half of his heart, he has my whole one! My walls are down!

Finally, my mind and body are breathing!

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Exited about the future? Hell yeaaaa!

#AtlantaYouBringMeLife#HapppyF…ingFeet

Letters to Anna #17

I fall in Love! I cheat!!!

Hei Anna, I need to tell you about my quest for love! But this is not a “normal” love, this is “going crazy for” one!

I fall in love with places! I need that hunger, that rush in my blood, those butterflies in my stomach, that urge for the time to stop!

I fall in love with a place the same way you fall for a special boy! The difference is that your love for a boy may turn out to be not that special and you fall out of it, my “Loves” are always special and I never fall out of them. I fall and I fall hard, I fall at first sight, I get swept away by the beauty of every one of “them”! The more I discover about the “soul” of one, the deeper I fall and wish for more. The good and the bad is that those feelings never go away. They get under your skin and make you twitch of pleasure every time you think of the time spend “together”.

This type of Love, it’s addictive! You don’t want to stop, you always need more, and more, and f… mooooooreeeee!

This love makes me cheat and have no remorse! I give my heart so easy, it’s crazy, but can’t help it!

San Fransisco didn’t play hard to get, and I must admit I fall for his beauty and cheated! Yup, I cheated on NY with San Francisco! I fall in love with your “San Fran”, Anna, and now we share the same “love” too!

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First I fall in love with the name, San Francisco! It made me think of Science Fiction, SF, that intrigued the hell out of me. That’s how I knew it was special before I laid my eyes on “him”. I was curious how much “SF” has in it. His lights seduced me, but again, I always fall for the lights. He embraced me with his warm arms and let me experience his curvy streets. Beautiful and sunny curves! And the way his streets are dressed is exquisite, I felt blessed! Tho his heart is old, the way I like it, his mind is hungry for everything new. Building by building, new or old, welcomed me and allowed me to discover their true beauty. From time to time I found myself lost for words, but I didn’t really have the need to speak, I felt the need to stop and breathe…the hot and breezy air sneaking into my chest makes me feel alive. It’s funny tho, in that moment every “need” of any kind disappeared completely from my mind…total blackness for “the need”…only happiness! My eyes were happy too, you know my craziness, quest for colors, I found so many colors…good thing that I had my sun glasses on! :))))

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The crazy part is that SF made me fall in love for his people too, and I’m not crazy ’bout every “Love’s” people. This guys made me smile all the time, they make me feel like time stopped. Everyday was a holiday, that’s how I felt! They took away the rush that my beloved NY brings on a “date”, and made me slow down for a change!

This Love is special tho, ’cause after keeping me happy for a few days and showing me his beauties, he whisper in my ear… “you must see the water”!

so…

13230320_10153888171113801_1951790578179156899_n Pacific Cost = “the water”!

I felt all the feelings that a lover feels, excitement, happiness, joy, rushing blood, a little bit jealousy and peace. For the first time, in a long time, I felt that “TIME” is not my “enemy” anymore. Refreshing thought, right?!

I felt like I belong there, I didn’t want to move, I didn’t need to…I just had to…maybe, someday, one day…I will ride those waves!!!

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Tho it’s heartbreaking, I had to go!

I told him ” it’s not you to blame, it’s me! I do this all the time, I’m scared of commitment! But, don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll find some “other” to settle down with.”…Not soon!… I love to be “in love”!…:)))))

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This Love has given me so much memories…so…this is never enough, I feel like I had much…If I’m gone tomorrow I have no regrets!

13232886_10153877703263801_1861332203755719864_n Thank you for memories SF!

I can’t wait to see what my next love has to offer….ATLANTA!

Letters to Anna #16

Time!

Hey Anna,

it’s been a long time!

Oh God, I had some challenging days!

You know that I live my life day by day and try to make the best of every second that I have. I make the “mistake” to dream of future, to think of a purpose and make a plan to reach it!

That’s when the “Beast” tap my shoulder and said “HI, I’M HERE, what about me?!” For the first time in my life I got scared, I let my fears concur me!

What if I can’t make it? What if I don’t have time to do it? What If, what if and what if…???…so…I close my eyes and pretend that the Best is not there, trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away. Worst idea ever, because I still feel his breathe on my neck!

The irony is, I made things way too complicated, and concentrate on things that I can’t control instead of the one that I can! I felt sorry for today instead of dreaming for tomorrow!

I let my “Beast” take control of everything, I let “what if I cant’t” to start my sentences and my actions. Basically I lost myself!

Till one day… I was walking in the city and catched my reflection in the mirror windows. I stopped and looked at that girl! I’ve seen a stranger… that smile, those eyes…not mine, not ME!

The funny thing is that I did’t realize me being gone, again. I was too focused on ignoring the “Beast” presence!

so….

I thought to ask for help, and you know I hate asking for help, but who can help me “kill” the “Beast”? My family, my friends? No! My dr.’s? Not yet!

But is my fault in some extent, I never talked fully about it, how “ugly” is and what are my options. No one knows what’s going on exactly, I always say “I’m fine”! I believed that if i ignore it, wi’ll disappear. I know, is silly! It’s ironically too, ’cause I’m the best on giving proper advices and helping others, but I can’t help myself or follow my own “preachings”.

so…

I took a deep breath, open my eyes, and face the “Beast”! The decision was clear and silly easy. I have to become friends with “Beast”! I will do everything in my power to achieve it, is the only way I can rediscover myself and move forward!

I need to have faith in myself again!

First, I believe that I’m here for a reason. I have to believe that!

I have a purpose, it’s a simple and a big one, suits me perfectly! Tho, I have to have faith that I’ll make the right choices for me in order to reach it.

I’m lucky to love doing my work and have passion for it!

But to find something like that, I had to get out from my comfort zone (I don’t like comfort zone) and work in a place where I meet enterprising and exiting people! People that I can trust and consider part of my family! That’s how you find that one thing you’re uniquely shaped to do, and get exposed to new opportunities. It took me a while, but I found it, I found “work” that I love doing!

I face my fears every day, and I always look forward to the next big challenge!

I was thinking a lot about my purpose in live, and I think I finally got it. It was never about doing a lot of little things but about being the best at one thing. It’s about having a big dream, and expecting big things of yourself and others, in order to make it real. That’s how you build yourself, your legacy…in the real world.

so…I promise myself to focus on being the best version of ME, and totally love that version!

Hopefully someday, many years from now, we’ll be sitting in the office, and it will occur to us that we’ve done quite well, and we’ve been successful on reaching our dreams.

Like someone said : “If you want big things out of life, must expect big things of yourself.”

I intend to do that!!!

After all, that’s what I live for, dreams, passion, challenges and building memories!

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Letters to Anna #15

Let it snow!

Is snowing again! Love it, I feel like we gonna have Christmas again!
For some reason I remember the last time “snow” was in the city!
I walked around the office that day and I felt like a child! Didn’t care bout the cold, I was in jacket, heels and no gloves. To feel the snowflakes on my face was priceless…I breathe the cold air like it was my last…still do that, I love cold air in my lungs!

For me nature is a form of perfection, I love to see her “at work”.
I was talking with Ramon about perfection in all aspects. He is “preoccupied” with the performance at work, being perfect, the best in everything!
So consuming thought, you can make the best of everything and be the best version of yourself, but perfection is hard to reach!
For me every new day it’s a learning day. I always have something more to learn, things, life, myself!
I’m not perfect, far from it, but I’ll never stop trying to become the best version of myself!

I’ve always try to make the best of my time on this planet!
Because If it’s not fun, it’s not worth doing and that’s applying to all aspects of my life.

Ha, that’s hell of a ride! That’s what makes my life “perfect”, makes me feel excited to live another day.

Oooo, and Anna…I forgot to tell you that I love you today!

#happyfeet 👣👣👣

from Anna: love you too, girl.

Letters to Anna #14

Dinner in NY! Are you crazy?

Remember my friend Matt?
Yup, he took me out for dinner. The funny thing is he didn’t know where to go.
I started laughing…it’s NY! Who cares where? We are in the most “wanted” city in the world and we struggle with where to have dinner? God! Sometimes I feel like ppl are blind. They’ve been lucky enough to be in this city and now they think it’s all given to them!

This city has everything indeed! You just need to decide what/were/when and go for it. Any corner of the streets has something different to offer, it’s crazy how this works.
That’s one of the beauties of NY, you have the entire world in one place. You can go and experience any “country” you feel like.
I’m crazy bout Thai, Mexican and Indian food!

But what I’m crazier bout is this city’s heart, his restless breath, his fast pace, his fire nights!

This is a good life! But you have to work for it!

Coffee, bagels, fast forward time, lights, ppl, friends, creeps, hugs, burgers, music, love storys, broken hearts…cheesecake!

Tell me what is to complain about?!

I’m happy like a fool!!!

This city is my life….for now! 😋❤️😇

#happyfeet 👣👻👣

Letters to Anna #13

Lights down!

Is all right, is all good!
Happy one anniversary to me! One year in this city! One year in the f…ing NY City!

I’m looking back and I can’t believe it! Who would have thought this one year ago? I didn’t see it either. I was dreaming bout Vancouver, but my Vancouver turned out to be NY!

One year!! Let’s see what I gathered in this time!
I have tons of memories, some about love, some about life, some about laughter, some I will tell you about, some not, but all good ones. I will not change a thing!
Oooo…I have one thing I’ll change…I will eat more cheesecake, blueberry cheesecake!

So…Winter, Johnny, pancakes, Texas, tv, Angel, Roosevelt, Gaby, kiss a stranger, Milan, Jack, my girls, love, life, laughs, Boss, Anna, Razvan, Caroline, makeup, Cris, Emil, happiness…

So you see lately, I can’t keep playing the games I’m playing every day just hiding the broken that feel inside…
Well…Every one has been broken once or twice! The only thing I feel special is because I was/am broken by something that deserved my time!

Well it’s morning…I have to run again!
Nothing can stop me!

Happy 1st anniversary to me!

“If you’re in control you are not growing fast enough!”

#happyfeet

Letters to Anna #12

Life-simply gorgeous!

What happened with this world? People forget to live, they say they’re living but they’re not!
I’m looking at the people on the sub and I see no happy faces! Everyone forgot how to smile? Everyone forgot to be happy?

I have to write this to you….so…

Today, my dear, it’s about you! My friends, my NY family, my laughs, my reason to be here, my love, my happiness and joy!
It’s so natural to be happy everyday with you guys! I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I thank God for the mysterious ways that brought me to you!

Life is so fragile and precious, people forget that we have to make the best of it not waste it!
It’s so easy to smile, try it right now, your muscles will be happy!

What it takes to make us happy every second of the day? What are we chasing? Why do we sacrifice our life? Why do we sacrifice our true happiness?
Some ppl live only seeking success! But
success is something you attract if you work on yourself, it’s not something that you will reach by pursuing it. If you’re not a better person, if you don’t give love, for you and for those close to you…then WTF are you doing with your life?

Don’t get me wrong, life is not easy, but you have two choices: you can choose to turn hardship into learning experience and find happiness, or you can dwell in the “why this happens to me, it’s not fair!!” and find unhappiness!

Today I was looking at you girls and I could not describe the “enormous” love I felt in those moments! My smile had no chance to leave my face!

I’m so f…ing lucky to have you! I even did my happy feet dance!
Thank you God!

You know, ppl underestimate the power of love, they don’t understand that love is the key to happiness. You can have all the richness in the world, but If you don’t have love, you have nothing!

Some people say that money will by them love and happiness. In a way that could be true, but they will always know that they paid “good money” for it!

That reminds me of this article that you sent me about Harvard’s 75 year study about “living a happy life”….they began in 1938 and in 2012 they published the “astonishing” findings. There is no secret ingredient, the study revealed what everyone of us should realize ” Happiness is LOVE”!

Happiness is not money, surprise, surprise!

The study revealed that “our relationships with other people matter more then anything else in the world”. “Healthy relationships serve as an indicator for overall life satisfaction and for career satisfaction.”
Haaaa….I’m so there with that conclusion, I’ve always been.
Also, the study says ” in terms of achievement, the only thing that matters is that you be content at your work”…you know “love what you do, do what you love” kind of thing…and “not the amount of money you make is important to your happiness, but how you spend it!”

So….

In conclusion …it’s not too late to start “wasting” your time chasing for love, in order to have a happy life!

You know me….I always say: you have to look for stories, you have to live for memories.

When we have 80 years, hopefully, we are gonna remember what we loved not how much money we spent! Or we will think about money, we will think on how much money we spent on the loved ones! :))))))

It’s not the bad things that shape our life, it’s the love you give and the love you receive, so…the good memories shape our life.

Life=love=happiness!

#happyfeet

Letters to Anna #11

The poem!

Did you ever cry reading a poem? I did!…the poem was about me!

“a woman sits across the table,
a decade quantums between us.
my dreams are prodigal, my boots barely broken in
for the journey.
she is, recently, terminal. her mortality
takes an extra seat at the table, takes two,
makes us both, suddenly, children.

the wrong man, the wrong hand,
imposter love gave her
a bed full of emptiness. kisses, simulations.
caress, simulacrum. the familiar face unnamed,
out of place in the only body she’s known,
missing the one who makes her belong,
makes her limbs her family.

she says, “i am not ready to be so vulnerable
again.”
i, “then, when?”
electronic, her limits surround us,
clouded uncertainty, where, when…
nucleic, inevitable, we march on
towards our only certainty,
the love she longs for painfully present
through absence.

i: sit naked, wonder if i have found
a home in my fear, built a
house of my fear, fear so familiar now
it has lost its ferocity, undone itself,
robbed me, suddenly fearless.
i: sit naked, feel home, feel found.
seen, so, hidden. discover me uncovered,
my vulnerability unravels.
i: sit naked. the simulacra man, the electron, the
limit, the two seats at the table, the eyes, the
mirror, the leap, the faith,
our only certainty, the most uncertain.” By Anna Winham

I could not finish it! I read it 4 times, I cried 4 times!
The truth is painful!
But I’m happy to be alive today!

I’m love!

#happyfeet 👣👣👣