Letters to Anna #18

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I’m on crack! I’m a scam! I’m in love!

I found my “Vancouver”! I was not looking for it, but somehow he found me! He jump in my train and said “Hi, my name is LOVE, your LOVE!”

It’s hard and easy to write about my “Vancouver”, about how he light me up! I’m f..ing glowing!

Remember we talked latley about love and finding the one? The one who makes you be you, no restrictions? How we gonna find that complete feeling, if we ever??? I was giving “him” up, I was thinking about it, dreaming about it, but…I was in peace! I understood that is not to be found, and “my Vancouver” is just a page in a book that I will not have the chance to write.

Well…I was wrong! So wrong, Anna, so wrong! It’s the first time in my life when I have no problem of being wrong. :))))))

I was not looking for it…Ohhh, girl!…It hit me hard and strong! !…It appeared from nowhere and sweep me of my feet! Haaaaa, you will think that I lost my balance, en contraire, ma chérie, I found my balance!

I discover how it feels to float, to fly, to levitate…I’m a magician!

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The second he introduced himself to me I was lost! You know that I have the habit to look people in their eyes, I had the same boldness with him too, I was staring! This time tho, the eyes are staring back, and I’m the first to look away! I got lost in the moment, this eyes captivated and intrigued me at the same time. I wanted to freeze time and look closer! What’s their story, what makes them spark, how they smiling? How do I feel like I know them from somewhere, so familiar, so intimate, so mine? God, he has some eyes!

It’s funny, I remember my Grandma telling me this, one time :”When you fall in love you should fall for the eyes, they are the only thing that never grow old. Everything else will change, you will change too, but the eyes will be the same. If you fall for the eyes and he can keep you close just looking at you, the quest is over, you found “the one”! I remembered that the second I meet his haze!

“Fall for the eyes, my child!”

Faith has this ways of trowing something in front of you that you never expected!

But wait…..

I got scared, I didn’t want this! What if is not real, what if is just my need of love projected on this beautiful man?

Nop! Wrong agin! :)))) I was not that “lucky”! :)))))))

The feeling is so real, I never dream of love being that complete, strong and free! I feel naked in front of him. And I’m not talking about clothes, tho I feel the need to put some extra ones every time he’s looking towords me, my soul is naked.

20160605_033014He sees ME!

And you know that I love taking risks…tho…it feels more like a gift than a risk.

I dived in this feelings like I dive in the ocean, with all of me, not caring if the water is cold or what the depth is hiding. I just let the water embrace me and corres my skin, my soul! I enjoy the tranquility!

This love is crazy…the way I feel about him is crazy…

I love the way he speaks, and how he’s using the words! I can listen to him for hours, actually I did listen for hours, mesmerized. I love the way he acts, he is so simple, so complex, and so genuine. I love him the way he is, so comfortable with himself, all of him. I don’t want or need him to change anything. His imperfections are perfect for me, thats why hi’s special! That is the true essence of beauty, to me.

I’m grateful for him jumping in my train, have no words to thank him for that.

His love makes me be open, true, no games, no need to impress, no need to be someone I’m not. And because I’m like that he is the same way. He doesn’t mind if I talk to much or if I say nothing, he enjoys my presence. You know how hard is to find someone who likes YOU, to think that your flaws are incredible? I use to think it was impossible, wrong thinking!

It’s so uniq to fell asleep in his arms and wen you wake up HE is still there, unchanged, the same person that you went to bed with. He still smiles at you and don’t want to let go if you try to leave. “Lay down a little bit more”!

You lay a little bit more, and you realize that you don’t need to speak, the words are not needed! That embrace is all you live for, you want to stop time and just feel that moment!

My “struggle” with time and quest for so many memories stopped with him! I don’t need different memories anymore, I need memories of him being happy!

20160602_053052It’s all that I want, and need….HIM to be happy!

Can’t believe my luck, I get to talk about THE love. I’m so soft, but completely happy!

You know what else? ….He makes me think about future, getting better is not just “if” anymore, getting better is a necessity! I want to have a future, tho in a wired way is not a future for/with him I think about, is a future in wich I can make him proud of my adventures. HE makes me want to “kill” my Beast!

I don’t want to tell you more about him, I need to keep something for myself! All I want you to know is that I completely love him, unconditionally and free.

I have half of his heart, he has my whole one! My walls are down!

Finally, my mind and body are breathing!

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Exited about the future?  Hell yeaaaa!

#AtlantaYouBringMeLife#HapppyF…ingFeet

Letters to Anna #17

20160516_234912I fall in Love! I cheat!!!

Hei Anna, I need to tell you about my quest for love! But this is not a “normal” love, this is “going crazy for” one!

I fall in love with places! I need that hunger, that rush in my blood, those butterflies in my stomach, that urge for the time to stop!

I fall in love with a place the same way you fall for a special boy! The difference is that your love for a boy may turn out to be not that special and you fall out of it, my “Loves” are always special and I never fall out of them. I fall and I fall hard, I fall at first sight, I get swept away by the beauty of every one of “them”! The more I discover about the “soul” of one, the deeper I fall and wish for more. The good and the bad is that those feelings never go away. They get under your skin and make you twitch of pleasure every time you think of the time spend “together”.

This type of Love, it’s addictive! You don’t want to stop, you always need more, and more, and f… mooooooreeeee!

This love makes me cheat and have no remorse! I give my heart so easy, it’s crazy, but can’t help it!

San Fransisco didn’t play hard to get, and I must admit I fall for his beauty and cheated! Yup, I cheated on NY with San Francisco! I fall in love with your “San Fran”, Anna, and now we share the same “love” too!

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First I fall in love with the name, San Francisco! It made me think of Science Fiction, SF, that intrigued the hell out of me. That’s how I knew it was special before I laid my eyes on “him”. I was curious how much “SF” has in it. His lights seduced me, but again, I always fall for the lights. He embraced me with his warm arms and let me experience his curvy streets. Beautiful and sunny curves! And the way his streets are dressed is exquisite, I felt blessed!  Tho his heart is old, the way I like it, his mind is hungry for everything new. Building by building, new or old, welcomed me and allowed me to discover their true beauty. From time to time I found myself lost for words, but I didn’t really have the need to speak, I felt the need to stop and breathe…the hot and breezy air sneaking into my chest makes me feel alive. It’s funny tho, in that moment every “need” of any kind disappeared completely from my mind…total blackness for “the need”…only happiness! My eyes were happy too, you know my craziness, quest for colors, I found so many colors…good thing that I had my sun glasses on! :))))

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The crazy part is that SF made me fall in love for his people too, and I’m not crazy ’bout every “Love’s” people. This guys made me smile all the time, they make me feel like time stopped. Everyday was a holiday, that’s how I felt! They took away the rush that my beloved NY brings on a “date”, and made me slow down for a change!

This Love is special tho, ’cause after keeping me happy for a few days and showing me his beauties, he whisper in my ear… “you must see the water”!

so…

13230320_10153888171113801_1951790578179156899_nPacific Cost = “the water”! 

I felt all the feelings that a lover feels, excitement, happiness, joy, rushing blood, a little bit jealousy and peace. For the first time, in a long time, I felt that “TIME” is not my “enemy” anymore. Refreshing thought, right?!

I felt like I belong there, I didn’t want to move, I didn’t need to…I just had to…maybe, someday, one day…I will ride those waves!!!

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Tho it’s heartbreaking, I had to go!

I told him ” it’s not you to blame, it’s me! I do this all the time, I’m scared of commitment! But, don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll find some “other” to settle down with.”…Not soon!… I love to be “in love”!…:)))))

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This Love has given me so much memories…so…this is never enough, I feel like I had much…If I’m gone tomorrow I have no regrets!

13232886_10153877703263801_1861332203755719864_nThank you for memories SF!

 

I can’t wait to see what my next love has to offer….ATLANTA!